The New Year is the perfect time to let go of anything in your life that no longer positively serves you. The thought of losing something can be a scary feeling, but what you gain can be so much more rewarding.

Self-doubt

Self-doubt is a lack of confidence or uncertainty about your abilities or actions. It’s normal to have these types of feelings when faced with new and challenging situations, which is something most people have experienced. But…

If persistent self-doubt is not addressed, it can lead to:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Procrastination or lack of motivation
• Emotional instability
• Low self-esteem
• Difficulty making decisions

https://eugenetherapy.com/article/overcome-self-doubt/

One way to overcome self-doubt is to realize that a mistake does not mean failure. Rather, it can be a learning experience that will help you in the long run.

Procrastination

Everybody puts things off at one time or another. But procrastination can be driven by several habits, including laziness, fear, self-pleasure, perfectionism, etc. There is no time like the present, so stop putting it off and get started.

Blame

Blaming others is a way of denying your own accountability for your life. By taking responsibility for who you are and what you do, you can gain a positive mindset and the opportunity to learn.

Playing it safe

There is a difference between staying safe and playing it safe. Staying safe means protecting your physical, mental, and emotional safety. Playing it safe means never taking on new challenges or moving out of your comfort zone because of fear. Taking risks can be risky, but always playing it safe can hold you back from your dreams. Life is short, and happiness is priceless.

Engaging with toxic people and situations

Negative people are everywhere, but you don’t have to engage with them. Instead, align yourself with supportive people that motivate you to be your best self. Toxic people make you feel confused, anxious, frustrated, and stressed. Learn to set boundaries by maintaining clear limits on what you will and will not accept.

Toxic people bring with them poisonous situations called drama. Do you know someone where even a trip to the grocery store can result in a case where something negative happens to them, and it’s never their fault? It’s like drama is just drawn to them. Beware because this can cause you to get drawn into their drama due to the human fascination with negative information. To avoid getting swept up in the chaos, consider ignoring your urge for drama and dealing with them only when necessary.

Living in the past

Learn from the past but don't dwell there.

It is pointless to live in the past. You can’t bring it back. Instead, find a way to change the narrative on it so you can stop replaying it in your mind repeatedly. You are where you are because of your past. Good or bad, you learned what you needed to know to get where you are. You can’t go back, so where are you going? Let go of the embarrassment you may feel and focus on moving forward.

How to let go of the past: Letting go of the past requires deep soul work because you have to forgive those you feel have wronged you, including yourself. Those negative experiences can be used as a learning moment. Take time to reflect on the experience and write it down so you can get it out of your head and embrace the present. Keep yourself active by learning a new skill, finding a fitness activity you enjoy, or learning how to just be.

People Pleasing

People-pleasers may feel that doing things for others will lead to approval and acceptance. While being kind and helpful is generally good, going too far to please others can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, stressed, and anxious. We do not control our outcome when we worry about what others think. You won’t need other people’s approval when you are confident with yourself and your choices.

Comparing yourself to others

The only person you should be competing against is yourself. Everyone’s journey and ideas of success are different. Focus on your own path and where you want to take it, regardless of where others are or what they have done. Remember, we don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbor’s garden. We do it nurturing our own. So, instead of wasting time comparing your path to someone else’s, spend it investing, creating, and caring for your own.

Constantly complaining

If you are not a part of the solution, don’t complain. That’s so annoying. Venting, on the other hand, is not the same thing as constantly complaining. Getting things off your chest is healthy, but too much complaining can damage your relationships. If you put yourself in other people’s shoes, you may be kinder, less judgmental, and open to being the change you seek.

Gaslighting

Now that we know what it is, it’s time to leave it in the past. If you don’t know, gaslighting is a means to manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events.

Someone who is gaslighting you may use the following phrases:

• “You’re being paranoid.” …
• “You’re overreacting.” …
• “That never happened.” …
• “You are making that up.” …
• “You have always been crazy.” …
• “I don’t know what you want me to say.” …
• “It’s your fault.” …
• “Everyone agrees with me.”
• “There is something seriously wrong with you.”
• “The Bible commands you to ….”
• “You’re not perfect, either.”
• “Stop exaggerating.”
• “Don’t blame me, I never meant to hurt you.”
• “Let’s forgive and forget.”
• “Why are you always bringing up the past?”
• “This is how you treat me after everything I’ve done for you?”

Gaslighting is meant to provoke uncertainty and self-doubt, which is often harmful to your mental health. If someone is gaslighting you, you must recognize it and leave the situation. If you are gaslighting, be mindful of your actions and intentions to lose the negativity and gain some positivity.